I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
