just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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