do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He passed out mid-signature
bring money and cleavage
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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