I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
