So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize