none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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