I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
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Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
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