Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
