? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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