when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize