Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
