i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
