I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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