it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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