so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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