so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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