He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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