so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
