i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
