What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
