Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
