i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
