So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
is wine microwaveable?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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