i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
