I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT