it wasn't lemon gatorade
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
So is that a yes?