oh good, I think they're gone
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you