Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
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I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
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Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life