Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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