if you like me you must not know who I am
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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