today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't deserve a penis
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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