So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
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That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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