Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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