She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
