I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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