I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
