dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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