I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
