Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You smell like stripper and shame
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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