First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
