Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm like, not good at living.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
