Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
