so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize