My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
