Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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