just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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