Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
