Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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