I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
