Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
