lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
