i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize