ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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