You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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