no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
