is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
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The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
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You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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