even my farts smell like vagina
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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