this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
