i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
