I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
