Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
