what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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