Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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