My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize