so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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