Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
