im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
