apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize