life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Randomize