"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
