My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
