Porn is love you can see.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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