k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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