She's JV to your varsity
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
