Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
